Today is my final day (working) at the Fair. I’m blown away by how quickly the 2010 edition has come and gone. I suppose that’s a direct result of the fact that we’ve had plenty of fun at the Bud Tent again this year…and that the “creeper” factor has been limited to essentially nothing.

I’m knocking on wood as I type this, as I still do have today remaining of my (working) experience with this year’s Fair. Hairball shows on Wednesday and last night were incredible as usual. The crowds were massive at the Knapp Amphitheater. And the boys definitely didn’t disappoint.

So, the plan is to get through today relatively unscathed (save for an expanding waistline I’ll need to eventually work off), and enjoy some time with my mom, who is coming over the weekend for a visit with myself, my wife and our son. We might stop out to the Fair tomorrow morning before it gets too hot or over-crowded…but at least I won’t be working!

All in all, I have very little in the way of complaints about this year’s ISF…and am already looking forward to next year.

Wish I had more entertaining stories to share with you, like people trying to have conversations with me while I’m on the air and doing a talk break…but the truth is, I’m not sure it’s THAT funny!

Have a great weekend and thanks for reading. All 2 of you.

It’s Monday and after a day off to refresh and re-charge the batteries, I’m geared up and ready for the long week!

Saturday was a lot of fun. Met so many great people, interviewed Shinedown live at the Bud Tent, and even gave my son his first taste of the Fair!

One thing I am surprised by this year is the LACK of mullets! One of two things going on here…either the mullets don’t drink Bud, or people are finally starting to figure out that mullets in the year 2010 are utterly ridiculous…not that they were any less ridiculous in 2001, or 2006, or even 2009…but in this day and age, sportin’ that “business in the front, party in the back” mentality is about as attractive as dressing up as Rosie O’Donnell for Halloween.

Thusfar, I have only seen 2 mullets. And none of them female! Normally by now, I’d have seen at least a baker’s dozen, with a small percentage qualifying as the rare “fem-mullet.” Weird year, indeed.

And fortunately, I’ve only seen 1 of those stupid kid leashes. But that’s a subject for another day.

On Saturday, I was introduced to Cinnie Smith’s mini cinnamon buns. Now, I’m not a huge sweets guy, but I was blown away by the little brown nuggets of heaven that were brought to the Bud Tent around Noon. Find them just north of our broadcast location on East 33rd. It’s worth it.

More than a little disappointed in the “new” food items at the Fair this year. I even complained on the air about it late last week…I mean, c’mon…rice krispie treats on a stick? Not exactly ground-breaking.

The one new item I did want to try was the Tiramisu on a Stick. Unfortunately, when my wife and I arrived at the stand to purchase one, and stood in line for about 10 minutes before getting to the front, they informed us they were out of them. A new item and you’re out of them? You have to be kidding me! A sign would’ve been nice…so folks like us didn’t waste our time standing in line. LAME.

But I guess if that’s the bulk of what I have to complain about at the 2010 edition of the Iowa State Fair thusfar, I lead a pretty charmed life. Still crossing my fingers that, one of these years, the State Fair will step up the “new food items” to some more exotic cuisine…like Gator on a Stick! (It’s actually delicious!)

My good friend Arnold at the Corn Brat stand is apparently kickin’ ass and takin’ names once again this year. He stopped by to once again thank me for all the good publicity I’ve brought to his product…for 3 years now, I’ve been singing the praises of the one and only place that makes and sells the corn brat. Arnold has even shared that he’s hoping to open other stands around the Fairgrounds in the coming years, to keep up with the demand. Apparently I’m not the only one that is bored with, or doesn’t care for the corn dog (in my case, not a fan of hot dogs in general).

The menu from Saturday included one of Arnold’s new “spicy” corn brats. I liked it, but still a bigger fan of the original. Also mentioned the Cinnie Smith’s, and I also had a few cheese curds, a bite of a frozen twinkie, a couple bites of an elephant ear, a Jennie (Guinea) Grinder and my old stand-by, the Pork Chop on a Stick.

On Sunday, I de-toxed.

Today, I plan on having another Pork Chop on a Stick, and whatever else my stomach wants. Looking forward to Day 5. See ya at the Bud Tent!

MUCH more comfortable than Day 1.

I literally couldn’t drink enough water to keep myself hydrated on Thursday. The sun beat me down big time. But I survived.

Not only was Day 2 East Side Night, it was also Friday the 13th AND a full moon from what somebody told me. But, being a guy that would rather embrace such omens, I had a wonderful day! The people were extremely friendly, the weather cooperated for the most part, aside from a stray shower just before air time at 2pm, and temperatures were much more bearable. All in all, I can’t complain.

But there are some that will always complain…about something. And one of my favorites every year are the folks that walk directly in front of our speakers on their way to wherever it is they are headed. I guess they don’t realize that a radio station might play music in order to attract people to their broadcast area. And I guess they don’t realize in order to reach as many people as we can, the speakers have to be turned up a little bit.

It hasn’t happened through the first couple days, but eventually I know that someone will walk directly in front of our speakers, and immediately cover their ear and give me a dirty look like ‘that is WAAAAAAY too loud…you JERK!’

Hey, you don’t like it? Don’t walk directly in front of my speakers!

Doesn’t bother me all that much, actually. I find it more funny than frustrating. The Golden Rule of what it is that I choose to do for a living is this: You can’t please everyone. But I try.

Today is Day 3, and I’m back at the Bud Tent for the live broadcast from Noon to 6. Shinedown and Chevelle are playing the Grandstand tonight, which should be a great show. Looks like the weather will be improving drastically starting today…no rain in the forecast, temperatures down from where they’ve been, and humidity much more tolerable.

And then on the 4th day, the Radio Gods will grant me a day of rest before the Monday through Friday schedule of next week.

The food I ate yesterday: Pork Chop on a stick, Giant Tenderloin from the Bud Tent, some Cheese Curds, and half a Corn Brat. Glad I’m not keeping count of the calories I’m taking in, and even more pleased I won’t be stepping on a scale anytime soon.

By the way, congratulations to Rock Girl Lindsey…not only for enjoying her very first Cheese Curd yesterday during our hour together on the air, but also for surviving East Side Night with class and moxie!

The excitement has been building for months. My 11th Iowa State Fair will begin as all the others have…with a pork chop on a stick, courtesy of our friends at the Iowa Pork Producers.

Of course, that’s just the beginning of my caloric adventures. Over the next 10 days, I will be hosting my show live from the Bud Tent. Invite you to swing by and say hello weekdays from 2-7pm and this coming Saturday as well from Noon-6pm. The forecast, at least for the first few days, sounds borderline unbearable. Temps in the low to mid 90s, heat index well into the triple digits and virtually no breeze to cool us down.

I use this as an excuse to eat even MORE of my favorite State Fair foods…using my logic, I should be able to eat as much as I can handle and not gain any weight. That’s right - my brain is tricking me into believing I’ll sweat out most of the calories I devour and be no worse for the ware…or, is that my stomach tricking my brain into tricking me into believing…ummm where am I?

Of course, the Iowa State Fair isn’t just my excuse to party like it’s Thanksgiving every day for 10 days…I’m sure there’s lots of other stuff going on that might pique your interest as well. But the truth is, I’m not quite sure what those things are! Haha…

So, today’s menu…1) Pork Chop on a Stick. 2) Corn Brat, courtesy of the one guy that makes ‘em, just east of the Pork Producer’s tent. 3) Cheese Curds, courtesy of Brad and Harry’s. 4) Water.

Yes, water.

Without water, I wouldn’t last 10 minutes in this heat and humidity. Keeping yourself hydrated is of the utmost importance. Remember that if you plan to venture out in this nastiness.

I also like to keep a bandana or two soaking in our cooler full of ice and bottles of water, to douse myself about once per hour with freezing cold brilliance. Not only does this prevent me from passing out in the heat, it also gives me a boost of energy.

OH! Just thought of something besides food that might be worth your while. LAZER t-shirts! New styles! Bargain back-to-school shopping! Inquire within at the broadcast tent located in the Bud Tent. Just follow the very loud rock music and keep an eye out for the Mr. Clean look-a-like gnawing on deep fried foods and air guitaring to whatever’s blasting out the speakers.

Speaking of the loudness, that’ll be the subject of my Day 2 blog, coming tomorrow. People that walk unsafely close to our speakers…and then complain about it. Good times! See ya at the Bud Tent!

Hit this:

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The world of radio is a funny thing. Essentially, we are customer service reps for the bands we play on top of being ambassadors to our listeners. And most of the folks I know that work in radio, myself included (as well as many that work for competing radio stations) actually do love 99 percent of their jobs. The remaining 1 percent are the phone calls we ALL take from time to time that make us scratch our heads and wonder if we are the most intelligent people on Earth. No joke. Without further ado, the 10 dumbest calls I’ve ever taken as a radio DJ:

10. Can you play “X” band? “X,” in this case, representing a band that my station never has, nor ever would consider playing. In the case of LAZER, “X” can represent anyone from Britney Spears to 50 Cent and even Jim Nabors!

9. Is there anything you play that you hate playing? Dumb only because I wouldn’t be working here if I hated anything we played. Listen, there are bands and songs that aren’t necessarily my favorite, but my personal taste doesn’t matter as much as the listeners’ in the world of radio. What might be my least favorite song could be hundreds of listeners’ favorite song!

8. Can you play “Y” song? “Y,” in this case, representing the song I am playing as I’m taking this phone call. Brilliant.

7. Is this “Z” radio station? “Z,” in this case, representing the slogan or name of the radio station I work for, and 100 percent of the time the first word out of my mouth upon answering the phone.

6. Am I caller “A?” “A,” in this case, representing the numbered caller our contest winners are. It’s not a dumb question unless we’re not contesting at all. And I have taken plenty of those.

5. ‘Bout time you picked up! Listen, I’m at work. I’m working. Trying to get work done. And, once in awhile, have time to answer phones. And, sometimes, I’m answering other lines while you wait for me to pick up and take your request or answer your question. But once I DO answer, don’t bitch at me because I didn’t pick up on the 1st ring. That’s dumb.

4. Can you give me the number for “B” radio station? “B,” in this case, representing the call letters or station name of a competitor. Yeah, sure, go ahead and listen to someone else…dumb.

3. Thanks for playing my song, dickmouth! Yes, that’s a true story. Guy called and asked for STP, about 10 minutes after I just played a song by them. Told him it’d be a little while, but I might get around to some more later. He called me back about an hour later, and chewed me out, capping it off with his choice of insult, which I found very odd and actually somewhat humorous.

2. Click. Maybe I’m in the middle of something. Maybe I’m actually talking on the air, and I notice the phone light is blinking. About 3 or 4 blinks in, I answer, and “click,” they hang up. Maybe it’s just me, but folks should have enough patience to allow me more than 10 seconds to answer the phone sometimes.

1. Quit playing “C” band! My favorite of the dumb calls. “C,” in this case, representing a band that most likely is one of the cornerstones of the rock music genre. A band/artist that, without their contributions to the world, music would probably be a lot more bland and boring than this particular caller already believes it is. Good examples here in LAZER’s case are Ozzy, AC/DC, Metallica, and Nirvana. These are bands that deserve their spot on our playlist and until we flip to smooth jazz, you can expect to hear them. Nice thing about radio is it’s free and you don’t have to listen if you don’t like something! But, of course, aside from these 10 examples of dumb calls, I don’t condone tuning me out.